2.24.2008

Happiness Is...

Happiness is being 36 and still getting carded!

That's right... Saturday night we went out to dinner and I ordered a Blue Moon on tap. Our waitress asked me if she could see some i.d. I don't know if I overdid it when I jumped up and started humping the air, but I don't give a crap. Do you know what this mean? It means that all of those homemade Botox shots I have been giving myself are working! Who ever said that injecting Anbesol in your wrinkles would never work is crazy. That's right... who is laughing now?

No... I do not inject Anbesol into my face.

I do exfoliate though. I exfoliate like a crazy woman. I have told you about my OCD tendencies before with mascara, deodorant and weighing myself, but I also suffer from exfoliation OCD. Some days I come close to exfoliating my skin right off of my body in my attempts to be equally exfoliated.

Anyway, I used to shrug off exfoliating, but after Saturday night I am devoted to it like never before. I started fully exfoliating just a few days before my 36th birthday. I went out and bought those sandpaper-like bath gloves that cost a whopping $4.50, and my whole world opened up.

I highly recommend exfoliation to everyone. Just imagine the pure joy I felt when I realized that I am finally getting rid of 36 years of dead skin cells that have accumulated on my body. Gross. Now I am smooth and shiny... and feel at least three days younger than what I am.

So if you want to pass for an underage drinker... just wear a miracle bra and exfoliate. You'll be one happy old person!

14 comments:

Gretchen said...

Oooooh, those gloves feel so good. And I'm 40 and get carded sometimes. It MUST be the exfoliation!

Anna B. said...

LMAO!! You are too funny..

Momto5Minnies said...

How cool! I have heard that they card most people who look 27 or younger. BUT STILL, you took off a good 9 years ... good for you.

Gotta get me some gloves!

Anonymous said...

I exfoliate three times a day!

Therese said...

I have been carded TWICE at the age of 47! I was ecstatic both times, but somewhat puzzled "why now?" I wonder if it is because I, too, exfoliate--the whole body mineral salts exfoliation/steam-sauna combination thing. Not going to give that up now, no, nuh uh.

Chatty said...

Cris - just in CASE we are thinking about two different exfoliating gloves....allow me to introduce you to these:
http://www.amazon.com/Flowery-Naked-Removing-Shower-Contains/dp/B0002EPS42/ref=tag_tdp_sv_edpp_t
you can even use them on your face! They do not SEEM to be doing much, because the surface has such a fine texture that there's no sensation at all, but the results - oh, my! The amazing thing is that they work as well on your feet as they do on your cheeks (either set) Go. Buy them. Trust me. And, by the way - the company who makes them - Flowery - actually INVENTED the emery board back around the turn of the last century. They know their stuff. Again, you'll just have to trust me on this...

Kasia said...

Whoa - those mitts take off hair as well as dead skin? Do I want to know how they do that?!?

Jud said...

I would look pretty funny in a wonderbra, what with my goatee and all.

Dad 2 eight said...

Forget the carding. At my age, just making it to the car and remembering how to get to the local pub is enough to set the heart "aflutter!"

Mandy said...

...... ........ ........

I so badly want to mention how I use to card 30 and 40 somethings, to make their day...

But I won't....

LMFAO.... sorry.

There have been a ton of stings latley almost every bar has been in some trouble, the local vfw even lost their liquor license.

If you want a real treat for your face try philosophy from Sephora, or even the warming oil of olay from Wally World or Target, they are AMAZING!

Cris said...

MANDY! I would never come over to your house and pee in your cherrios! Sheesh!

:) June

Therese said...

Now I'm thinking this may be a *conspiracy* perpetrated by the exfoliation-products companies. They pay and train people like Mandy who work in bars and liquor stores to detect who the exfoliators are, so they can card them.

Now it is all starting to make sense....hmmmmm

Mary Ellen Barrett said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now, I have to say you crack me up!

When I read this I went out and bought an exfoliating glove and some scrub. I was sooooo jealous.

John said...

love blue moon! orange slice?