The Wednesday Swoon (Think They'll Notice It's Not Monday?) and... there may be a CONTEST at the end of this post. Shhhh.

Okay... sooooooooo

I have looked at all of your calculated contributing ideas of swoonworthy men for the Six-Pack and I have to tell ya-you all are good...no, not good... you all are GUUD!


I am not gonna put a one of those men on this week's Wednesday Swoon.

"Why June?"

Well because... I don't want to.

And also, because I am going to put every last stinking one of them on next week's MONDAY Swoon... not to be confused with the WEDNESDAY Swoon, or even the FRIDAY Mascot (Buzzy) Swoon.

So quit sending suggestions-you have given me too much work as it is... and to be honest, that is why I am not putting them on the Wednesday edition of the Monday Swoon because I am too damn lazy this week.

That is right.

I am LAZY.


BUT, because I love you so very mucho grande Taco Bell, I am not going to leave you empty swoonded.

You can thank me later... right now just listen and look and enjoy.

The other night I went to go see the movie The Hangover.

Oh my loving mother of Betty Crocker! This is hands down the FUNNIEST movie I have EVER seen. I am still giggling to myself when I think about it...

As soon as you are done reading this blog and wiping the drool off your chin for the photogs you are about to view, go directly to your local movie viewing establishment and watch this movie. You will not be sorry--I bet it is even better if you consume a couple of loaded beers first, which is precisely what I am going to do when I go see it a second time. I am going after I am good and drunk and I am going to laugh until I pee my pants and then throw up on the college kid in front of me.


Anyway... in this movie is someone who I have been watching for a while now but have not put on the swoon.

"Why not June?"

I don't know really-I guess it is because he always plays a jerk in movies-but he is a hot jerk so all is forgiven. I mean, you know a man is hot when he can be a jerk and you say "But look at his blue eyes. I bet I can change him. Yeah, he wouldn't be a jerk to ME."


But in this movie-he ain't no jerk and he looks really really really really really really good.

So Ladies of the Six-Pack, I introduce to you for the FIRST time on the Swoon (but definitely not to be the last because I think I may like to look at him just about as much as I like to look at Gerry Butler, Matt McCon, Robward Pattinson and Christian hayBale.) our newest addition to the family... Bradley Cooper.


Hello T-R-O-U-B-L-E. You are going to make all the other fellas on the Swoon list jealous aren't ya Bradley? Oh yes you are.... My Mama never told me about nothing like Y-O-U!

Come on in baby... the water is perfect.

Let's all be silent for a moment here and just look at this man laughing. I mean, you know you are going to have a good time with a guy who can look like that when he laughs-Shhhhh. Just look at him and try not to smile, and try not to think about what he may be laughing at... you won't be able to do it and before you know it, it will be an hour later and you will still be sitting on this blog fantasizing about what he is laughing at and smiling the entire time like a silly little school girl with a dirtly little secret.


I bet he read my blog and thought it was just so damn funny.




Where was I?


Oh yes.... moving on.

He even looks good dirty and beaten up. I am diggin' the Rays-I have a pair like that and a friend told me that I look like a cop when I wear them. Well Mr. Cooper, if you look like a cop... I insist upon a frisking!

Don't you just want to take him home and prop him up on your couch and stare at him? His smile alone could make me happy. Pure and simple.

Okay Six-Packers, this last photog is for you... it needs a caption. Give it to me in the comments-the best caption wins-what do you win? The Hangover Soundtrack!! That is right... IT IS CONTEST TIME!!!!!! I have two... count em' TWO soundtracks to give away-one will go to the winner of the Random number finder thingamajiger and the other will go to the one caption that makes me laugh the most.

I need to laugh people-you have your marching orders... now get to work and entertain me!


Oh yeah... you have until Monday because I am not going to be around for the next couple of days. I am off on an expedition-one to far away lands that have beer and prolly some tequilla, but I am not going to partake in such things. Pfffft. Who am I freakin' kidding?

So since I won't be here for the Friday News... here ya go.

Enjoy and I'll see ya on the flip side of the weekend.


Pharmacist Erin said...
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Pharmacist Erin said...

"Ha! Got drunk and needed to go to the bathroom. Who left the seat up?!"

Pokey said...

You want me to do WHAT with you in this bathtub?! OK, as long as it doesn't make the blog. Kinky - I love it.

Sue B. said...

Caption: "Hey baby -- come on in. The water's cold, but it will be steaming once you're here."

June -- you're a genius, and if I pray for you, it's only for the good Lord to preserve you in your awesomeness.

warren said...

Ok...my entry for the "ass in the tub" pic...

"Damn that Mexican food...the flames are a killer"

mommiebear2 said...

My caption would have to be "wheres the bubbles?" :)

FLYNAVY said...

Morning Miss Cleaver,
Thanks for moving the Code Pink tard down a notch. Guess as your typical overachiever 2 lines come to mind on bathtub guy:

1. Mein Papa always said when you hear wind that sounds like a locomotive, get your ass in the bathtub. [Susan has a saying for "when the bullets start flying" but it's even worse than what follows.]

2. The new MRE vanilla pudding is so good, I wanna lick the pouch, put in on the floor & roll in it, then "dip my balls in it". Have actually used that line....

Good travels, come home safe & pass on the goat kabobs from the local street vendors.

june "pudding where?" cleaver said...

Buzz, I have had goat kabobs AND vanilla MRE pudding...

or maybe it was dog kabobs, I can't remember.

In any case-your last quote-pricelees my friend.

The Wannabe Redhead said...

I was just saying this weekend that Bradley Cooper is my new Hollywood Crush. Yet another reason why we're soul mates, June! Let me know when you're going to see the movie again, and I'll try to go with you (if it's in the Omaha area, of course)! I've been DYING to see it!

As for the caption:

"B.Y.O.R.D." --Bring Your Own Rubber Ducky

(Not my best work, but what can I say? I'm silenced by His Hotness.)

june "I got friends who have mad funny skillz" cleaver said...

Red-I read your quote... laughed out loud and even clapped.

Way to set the bar baby!

How about going to see it next weekend? I'll email you--

Uptown Girl said...

Still working on creating my caption-of-perfection.

I was staring at my screen for so long (at that pic of Bradley laughing...) that my boss has informed me that I'm "no longer allowed to use the internet on Mondays or Wednesdays". Don't worry though, I responded "I will cut you".

june "I am just hanging out at the comments today becuz I CAN" cleaver said...

Maria Grace... hahaha-way to be a bad ass. Go forth and f$%# people up grasshopper.

Uptown Girl said...

Ok so today I will meet a new quota and tell 3 people, "I will F#%k you up".
1 quick Q about the contest. Can I enter multiple captions? Or is it 1 per grasshopper? NEED TO KNOW bc I have so many ideas distracting me from 'work'.
kthanksbye to you too.

june "we don't need no stinking rules" cleaver said...

MG... as with all of my contests-there are no rules. Rules are for pussies.

So that means you can think up as many captions as you like-even the dirty ones that you think your mother will shake her head in disappointment at you....

My mother is already disappointed in me-so let it rip baby. Nothing surprises her anymore.

Regina said...

I just watched "He's just not that into you" last night, and was trying to control my breathing at the sight of Bradley Cooper- those blue eyes and smile- oh my.

My caption...

"I like it when you play rough, baby, but let me fill the thing with water first!"

june "it ain't fun if it ain't rough" cleaver said...

Oh regina... that caption paired with him smile. Yep-I'm a likin' it!

Anonymous said...

Ok, yeah he is cute- the laughing picture is great.
But I want to weigh in here with a guy you can feature that I wonder if you have considered-

Bear Grylls the guy from Man vs Wild- have you considered him?

Uptown Girl said...

Jo- I consider Bear Grylls often. Good idea :)

June, you said you wanted to laugh, so I will start with a joke. My first caption:

Bradley Cooper: Knock Knock.
Lucky Girl: Who's there?
Bradley Cooper: Woo
Lucky Girl: Woo Who?
Bradley Cooper: Oh, you're excited too?

june "one step ahead of you, but my children sucked my brains out of my boobs for I forgot" cleaver said...

Jo and MG... I have considered Bear Grylls before (I was in bed when I considered him if that gives you any idea about how much I swoon over him) But I forgot about him for the simple fact that I don't want the TV so much-he somehow fell into that void that I call "Hot but forgotten"

That is why I have you all-to remind me of these things.

Bear will be a part of next Monday's swoon. So help me Discover Channel.

And to prove that I have considered him... I posted about him long before I started doing the swoon list. Sadly there are no pics with this post, but it is entertaining.


powdergirl said...

Dear June 'it's gettin'sticky in here' Cleaver,

You know perfectly well that he's saying.

"Bring your loaded beer, June. We're gonna f**ck standing up in this bathtub till we sweat off all that sticky vanilla pudding. Leave the lights on"

Just learn to accept what fate throws your way and get in the damned tub June.
Or I could take one for the team and do it for you...

Kathleen said...

LOVED Bradley Cooper since Alias (RIP :( ) Good choice today!

Showers are overrated...

FLYNAVY said...

Miss Powder,
Rack em up, game over. Is it getting warm in here?

TaraB said...

How bout...

Rubba dub dub, got room for me in that tub?

rita said...

Enjoy your weekend of debauchery. You've earned it. And if you need any up close and personal photos of Mr. Peter Cooper, I've got a ton. He's really hot after the intermission between sets and he gets all likkered up. And sweaty. Oh yes.

That laugh photo above? Not the contest one, the one where he's just so damn adorable? Oh. Yes.

june "gettin' in the tub" cleaver said...

Powder... and THAT right there is why I love you!

Urban Mom said...

"Let me show you how those Cialis ads are *supposed* to look, sweetheart!"

My humble offering....

And the cop-looking sunglasses?
They make me want to confess that yes, indeed...
I've been bad.
Now somene call THAT cop!

powdergirl said...

It is definitely getting warm in here, aren't you hot in all that cumbersome clothing?

June 'she responds well to good advice" Cleaver.
I have to fill the void from my 'consultant to a porn author" days somehow!

MKHKKH said...

June Needs to Be Serviced By Her Husband...Soon!


Thanks so much for the before bedtime treat. I am sure I will be having sweet dreams now. :)

Ginger Lehmann said...

Caption: "I've got your rubber ducky right here, baby."

June, please tell me how I can get a list of the music on your blog. I love it!

By the way, I love you too.

rita said...

In the Cialis vein, so to speak:

"Smilin' Bob took one too many Enzyte pills....."

Red said...

Loved the Swoon! Love the captions that have been submitted so far. May I humbley suggest an MMA themed Swoon in the future? Maybe some Georges St. Pierre, Andrei Arlovski, etc?

Anonymous said...

Bradley Cooper eh?

powdergirl said...


GSP? I'm a UFC fan, but I can never see the fight when he's in it, all I can see is abs and quads and lats and delts and....

So yeah, June, I think Red makes a good case for the MMA.

Jennifer said...

"Huh-huh...I just made some bubbles!"

Melissa said...

In some pictures he is hairy and in others he looks silky smooth. Not sure which I like better but am WILLING to spend some time with him in that bathtub to decide which is better. Please pass the baby oil. What's his name again?

Red said...

Ooohh, Powdergirl! I totally hear ya! I mean, I love the moviestar beek cake, but a guy who can fight to defend my honor is way better ;) Let's petition June for an MMA Swoon!

Troy said...
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RNBeth in VA said...

You people are creative; my mind bows to you all. All I got is:

Why don't you get in and give me something to really smile about...

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

All's I got is:

You'd be smiling too if you knew where June Cleaver was right now!

Sorry but it's the first day with my kids and I'm not used to having to interrupt my thoughts every 2 seconds to answer a question or stop a fight...

Mandy said...

Are you still alive over there?

Layna said...

rooty toot toot, rooty toot toot
i wanna do you in your birthday suit!

might need oils,
might need creams,
might need a week to recover it seems!

June, June she's our girl
Bradley can do it but
Only Ward makes her toes curl!

Anonymous said...

Saw the movie this weekend. I haven't laughed that much at a movie ever I think. The naked chinese guy had me rolling, bout shot Pepsi out my nose when they opened the trunk. I'd like to see it again when I'm a little tipsy or flat drunk, I'd probably pee all over myself but man that movie's funny!

As for a caption: I think I sharted in the tub guys!

powdergirl said...

June 'we miss you when you're gone' cleaver.

Hope you're having fun, where ever you are.

Urban Mom said...

Miss you, June! Hope that all is well in your world.

Melissa said...

Now I understand why you haven't been here. You are struggling over the news of Matthew McConaughey having a second baby with another woman. Go ahead June, mourn. Take all the time you need. We still love you even if he has found someone else!

Anonymous said...
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Layna said...
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Stupid Fat Hobbit said...
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