6.01.2009

I Have Held Out Long Enough... SWOON!


Okay, so I have spared the mens who read this blog for a very long time with any mouth watering pics of our beloved Robert Pattinson... but I can't keep him away any longer.

I cannot help myself-

Here you go ladies... sink your teeth into these. God Bless the Monday Swoon.
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And so help me Chuck Norris if any of you fellas complain and say we are sinning I will cut your heart out with a spoon. Why a spoon? Because it will hurt more. (what movie is that from? Anyone?)!
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Besides, sinning is good sometimes-it keeps you holy.



Look how he is looking at me! I am sorry Robert-truly I am. I promise to never go so long again without putting you on the swoon.


Can you say hair porn? I can... oh yes I can.




Oh to be the his fingers running through that head of hair. Sigh. Or rather... oh to be a head of hair that his fingers are running through. Yeah, that is it. Shhhhh while I meditate on that for a moment.






Alright, so here are the pics that I am sure you have all seen already of Robert-Edward in Italy. You remember this part in the book... when he calls Bella's house and Jacob answers and says that Bella's dad is at a funeral and Edward assumes that it is Bella who has died so he goes to Italy with a plan to let the Volturi rip him to shreds because he can no longer live in a world that does not have Bella in it.
Sigh.


He needs to remove his shirt because he is going to walk into the sunlight exposing his nocturnalness to the world so that the Volturi have no choice but to kill him.







Because living without Bella has been painful, yet living with the knowledge that she is dead is unbearable for his beatless heart.



And right after this moment... I have another picture, the one where Bella runs into his arms and they kiss and he thinks he is dying because he is kissing her and it isn't so bad-but then he realizes that it is Bella and that she is with him and that SHE IS ALIVE!!!!! But I don't want to post that picture because it has Kirsten Stewart in it and who the hell wants to see that? Not me. Pffft.

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So let's just look at another picture of Robert Pattinson's hair shall we? How does he do it? I am amazed.
Shhhh... I am meditating again.
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And look, I even have a picture of the wolfpack... the dogs that they are... the werewolves that do not like vampires. Not bad... not bad at all-if you like that sort of thing.

And here is that stinky ol' smelly Jacob who is so arrogant after he becomes a wolf that I could just smack him... not to mention the fact that I could just toss Bella out of a moving vehicle because she is so wishy washy with it all.

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Bella irritates the crap out of me. There, I said it. She needs to grow some boobs and be a woman.

Anyway, where was I? Oh... here is another picture of Robert shirtless... in case you didn't catch the ones up top.

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Just look at this poster. I hate it... I hate it because it reminds me of the sadness I felt when I read New Moon-which I have to say is probably my favorite of the Twilight Series (yes, I am aware that I am a grown woman-leave me the hell alone). The angst, the pain, the torture... it is all part of life and part of love. The pain makes you remember that you are alive.

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Freakin' vampires.

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So, without further adieu.... I give you the official trailer for the New Moon movie:

I want more don't you? I want them to just show me that whole damn thing. I don't like to be teased and now we have to wait 5 long months before we can see the entire thing!

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What the hell?

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So I think we should all just open up our copies of New Moon (oh don't act like you have not thought about it) and reread it.

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It'll do us good...the men in our lives will go insane, but that is part of the fun of being in love with a vampire isn't it? (I can't wait to tell Cousin Steve that I am reading it again!)

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Oh yes, oh yes indeed.

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43 comments:

Cass said...

Amen, sista.

And ooh ooh ooh ::raising hand:: Cut it out with a spoon 'cause it'll hurt more--Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, that was Alan Rickman's line!

Red said...

I don't get the hair on this guy... ok, I admit that I am not a Twilight-er but really? what's with the mop-head? I prefer a nice high and tight but maybe that is just my Navy showing...

Uptown Girl said...

Happy June, June!
Wow. That trailer. Wow.

Btw- thanks so much for not leading me to sin. I got that whole convo in my email and you did a great job defending the swoon.

warren said...

Yeah...I am in love too...but you already knew that! I am def re-reading New Moon. I'd have Jacob or Edward's babies...no prob! Well, except I don't have the right parts...anyhow...

june "just walking around checking your answers" cleaver said...

Cass... yeah! You win the movie line award-Congratulations. There is no prize, just the ability to say that you won. Enjoy!

Red-really? You don't want to run your fingers through it and hold on tight? Hmmmm.... maybe it is just me.

Maria... I try my hardest not to lead anyone into sin-sometimes it just happens naturally though. My mother always said I was an "instigator"

Warren... I worry about you sometimes. I really do my friend, but I agree with everything you say.

Alicia said...

I literally just swooned. I'd love to see more of him on top.....or underneath....whichever suits me just fine.

By the way, I don't know where that spoon thing came from but my mama used to tell me that all the time. Seriously, as a child, I was very afraid of "the spoon".

Katy said...

I think this is my favorite swoon! I didn't get anything done the day the shirtless Italy pics were online...sigh.

Alis said...

Meh. I just don't dig him that much. Glad you enjoyed it though since it is your blog. Now I'm off to google "hot guys in kilts" unless Cousin Steve wants to step up to the task of posting an un-twilight swoon. ;o)

powdergirl said...

I'm afraid of hair.

Besides I'm a little preoccupied with concern for The Horse, I don't think he should be lifting all that heavy equipment all by himself even if he is a shameless tease. He looks in need of a hot compress.
Since I'm by nature helpful person, I'd like to be the first to volunteer my assistance.
People gotta look after each other, you know?

Agellius said...

Tsk.

Uptown Girl said...

Dear Instigator,
I had to return again bc I heart the 2nd pic down... with his hand on forehead. ahhhhh.

Schmoochiepoo said...

I just want to know how long it takes to get his hair that 'artfully messed'.

TheSeeker said...

Oh June...have I found the novelty item for you!!!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/pophangover/suck-on-this-daniel-craig-popsicles-adt

Sue B. said...

Thank you! Thank you! And Thank you again!!

The movie poster that you posted as the first picture made me promise myself that I would see the movie as soon as I could.

They seemed to have changed their mind from that poster to the Italian pictures as to whether male vampires had chest hair. The steamier book scenes made me wonder.

Anyways -- Robert Pattinson had me as soon as Edward Cullen did. Because Edward is 17, yet 100+, I can ignore that Robert Pattinson is 23 and I'm -- not 23. I'm pretty sure I'm 30 because I swear that my oldest son was born a few months ago and I was 29.

I'm thinking of bringing all of my Stephenie Meyer books with me when I have my 6th baby in a few weeks. She really nailed pregnancy, delivery and breast feeding in Breaking Dawn.

Jacob is cute, but I can't think of him as anyone other than Sharkboy.

june "I disguise my voice in confession" cleaver said...

Agellius...

Awwww, I promise I was prayin' the ENTIRE time I was posting these pics!

FLYNAVY said...

Miss Cleaver,
Gotta admit his 6/8 pack beats mine, guess I'll have to hit the gym more. Re: Spoon attack, have had spoon self defense training** so bring it on ma'am.
PowderGirl,
Thanks, but the heavy lifting sorta has happened on it's own since birth, no help needed. As with most guys, it's on it's own schedule & it's useless to try to control it....but willing to try the hot compress idea if u think it will help.
[**navair training is also responsible for the teaser & arrogant tude...well most of it.]
Buzzy

Urban Mom said...

Mad mad MAD props sent your way in today's post.

Dammit. Now I'm late for my first yoga class since I was preggers with Urban Kid 2.

But worth it. Oooooo soooo worth it.

I want one of those Daniel Craig popsicles, but one that looks like Robert.

Mmmmmmmmm......

rita said...

F^cking Blackberry.....I could read but could not see the photos, could type my comment (which I will retype now) but it would not post.....

So yeah. I could not see the freaking photos, but I was imagining them. In my head, you know. Now that I can see them, oh yeah, look at that body......

*ahem* Maybe I should become Catholic, just for the confessions.

Lordy but that boy is pretty. Cougar isn't a bad word, is it?

Thank you for leaving out the one (millions?) of Robward kissing KStew. She irritates the hell out of me too, but that story.....it's got me good and hooked.

As for the books, I've reread the first two, but all four are going to Florida with me for the summer. What if I suddenly NEEDED to reread one and they were 1100 miles away?

Today has been a hellish day, but after seeing your swoon, I feel sooooo much better. Thank you.

Melissa said...

All those hits you've had today? Yeah, that's me. Just can't get enough of this guy. As much as I crush on him, I have to say, I think his tummy might be just a bit enhanced with makeup. Don't want to offend anyone with that statement, but I have been looking closely. Not close enough, trust me. But I think he had a little help. Now Fly Navy, I don't think has been airbrushed. Would be willing to get up close and personal with both just to make sure!

Urban Mom said...

I'm standing in line behind Melissa.

Southern Savvy said...

Hair porn! You make me laugh. This was the best Monday swoon and I so needed it so thank you! But, WTH is up with the trailer? That is not how I imagined some of those scenes happening. P.S. - Bella does suck and I just couldn't stand her throughout most of the series.

Stupid Fat Hobbit said...

Okay, first of all, those abs are so airbrushed it's not even funny. Fly Navy, you're safe. Look at the picture right above the 2nd movie poster and you'll see what he looks like without photoshop. Not bad but still not what the artist intended. That being said, I can see him as swoon-worthy sometimes but at others he's just plain ugly. I would kill for his hair though, if it came with someone to take care of it also.

June, this is also my favorite book. I've never been so in tune with a book emotionally before in my life and yes, I did feel more alive than I had in years. Of course, I'd vote for you to post (or e-mail me) the picture of Bella and Edward kissing. BTW, Warren, you need lots and lots of serious counseling; in another state from where I live. I'm just saying.

Sharkboy, I knew I'd seen him somewhere before. I should have checked IMDB but it just never crossed my mind.

Personally, I think Bella is just misunderstood. She loves them both, differently. She never intends for Jacob to be her mate (not really). Of course, this is all just fantasy so it really doesn't matter. For those who are counting, I've read the series twice now but won't be going for three until after July when I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy again. Now there's some fantasy for you.

Finally, June, does Ward get home anytime soon? I'm thinking you could use a real man right about now and whether or not sinning is good for you, I wouldn't want you to sin in that way, ever!

june "not afraid to use the spoon" cleaver said...

Buzzy... you don't need spoon defense training my agile friend, you need spoon survival training.

Melissa and UMom are officially first in line to check the authenticity of all Buzzy photogs-right behind Powder.

God help you boy.

Hey Hobbit! Why do you have to come poo all over the swoon? Seriously my hair challenged friend? Just go with it-look at Warren, once again I am pointing out Warren as the example of how a male six-packer should be. No-not gay... I know that is what you were thinking-but Warren is not gay. How do I know this? Because he is bald and bald men are not gay.

And no Rita... Cougar is not a bad word. It is all in the attitude sister-all in the way you sway.

rita said...

Wow, if that's what a good makeup artist can do for one, I want one of my own.

I've been drooling over those photos since last week. Maybe if Bella could jump on him and shove those pants down just a leetle bit lower...... Then I'd be okay with Bella.

FLYNAVY said...

Miss Cleaver,
Spoon attack, I'm more of a pre-emptive/defensive strike guy rather than SERE. Been there got the whole t-shirt thing.
Glad Warren is still on the team, now that DADT is being discussed we'll check into the bald theory.
You're welcome to check the abs for makeup, but will probably find some from time to time, maybe even some lipstick there abouts. Can be sorta embarrassing during PT. It happens.
Have real negative feelings about Bella, vacationed @ a FOB Camp Bella in the mtns & it was a real hell hole. They finally closed it.
Guess I'll weigh in about the hair also, looks sorta messy & long, & if that "look" takes more than 30 seconds to obtain then he didn't get his money's worth. Can never go wrong with short or shaved.
Buzzy

Uptown Girl said...

I have to say 2 things here:
1- bald men can def be gay. I have the Ex to prove it.
2- Cougar is a good word in my dictionary. I aspire to be a cougar someday, but for now I'm just a Puma.

Sue B. said...

Hey June -- speaking of hair porn and abs that are not airbrushed, I've always been hoping for a swoon featuring Patrick Swayze. I've sent this suggestion (and pics) before by e-mail, but either you didn't get it or it didn't fit or you hated my idea.

SFH -- you make me laugh everytime you write. I'm not surprised that New Moon completes you. You should now go read the draft of Midnight Sun at Stephenie Meyer's web site. It's several chapters of Twilight with Edward telling the story. :)

Kasia said...

Hobbit -

You don't want the hair. It comes with about five fabulously gay men, ten pounds of product, and six hours to style.

I think June has posted some better swoons, myself. I just keep seeing Cedric Diggory. "Harry...bring my body back to my parents..."

That said, since it's June's blog, I'm glad she's enjoying herself. :-) Though I do have to second the "when does Ward get home?"...I think June is running kind of wild and needs some serious discipline... :-p

Anonymous said...

okay...I have to admit...Jacob looks way hotter with the short hair and since he'll be shirtless through most of the movie...I may have to swoon over him until Edward comes back. :)
Claire

Hope said...

In return for turningme onto this movie and into a 17 year old lusting mama...you really should be ashamed, but you aren't are you???lol I need you and your folks to head over to my blog and see about helping me spread the word. Trying to get some stuff together for 3rd Bn 3rd Marines. Could use some help! Gracias in advance and a belated gracias for the posts on this completely sexy man. nom nom nom.

I'm learning to live with the guilt. Frankly, at the very least you could start a self help group you know. Great idea huh? You're welcome. xo Hope

powdergirl said...

(whispering)
Psssst Buzzy,
I'm wiping off my lip stick, no one will be the wiser ; )

allenslabs said...

HOT~ June, oh wise and wonderful internet chick, I praise thee. How awesome of you to post pictures of the man who should father my children. The hair, the body, the whole shebang....totally makes me hot.

I mean, look at that hair. I could just imagine running my fingers through it or maybe grabbing it as I ....never mind. I think I need to go take a cold shower.
And I don't see this as sin. This is nothing more than marveling a creation that God made. Aren't we supposed to be grateful to him for all that he has blessed us with? Hello?! Robert Pattinson, totally a blessing.

june "I got this one" cleaver said...

Hobbit and Kasia-I am fine on the sinning factor thank you very much. No need to worry or to remind me.

Urban Mom said...

June,
I think you should be able to comment over in my neck o' the woods. Click on the headline at the top of the post, "The Devil Made Me Do It." I've no idea why I can't get the comments to come up without doing that. In fact, my commenting has been wonky lately. I can't comment on Uptown Girl's blog or my own. It just won't "take." Makin' me nuts to not say my piece! God forbid I leave a thought unexpressed!

Kasia said...

June - I didn't say you were sinning. Did I say anything about sinning? All I said was "running wild" and something about Ward and discipline.

In other words, I wished you a lot of fun in...oh...about 70 days.

:-p

(But I did make fun of his hair. I'm sorry. I just had to. You KNOW it took five stylists to do that...)

Ashley said...

Ahhhhh. Thanks for the Rob/Twilight fix!

I've actually already read the books twice and am waiting on Eclipse to be returned to me (after 7 months...) so I can read them all a third time! How sad, but it's the closest thing to a love life that I have!!

FLYNAVY said...

Thanks Powder,
Appreciate it. Jeeze, go thru just 1 briefing with lipstick on ur trousers & u never hear the end of it. Lipstick on a pig isn't nor was it ever funny.

Miss C & 6 packers et al,
Not to change the subject on the bed head hair, but while checking the 6 pack abs for air brushing [have learned a whole new metrosexual industry here] I've about determined that there was also evidence of some serious "manscaping" going on in that same general nether area. Not cool. Also violates the bald rule or not? Carry on.
Buzzy

WestcoastWeirdo said...

I've read the series 4x now and can't wait for this movie to come out either! Seriously addicted to it & Rob too. LOL

rita said...

I love the term "manscaping". I'll find a way to work it into conversation.

I've spent a lot of time looking at that particular portion of that photo and wait, what were you saying?

PalmettoChik said...

OMG! Another Twilighter Mom! I love, love, love, LOVE it!!!

Stumbled on your blog and absolutely love it!

I <3 Edward!

Wendy
www.bumblebeesandbugladies.blogspot.com

Granamyr said...

Hello! I heard about your blog from a co-worker and hmm, dang I can see what she means.

The quote is from Robin Hood Prince of Theives btw. (Alan Rickman is another hottie we should swoon over eh?)

Yowsa. Thanks for sharing these hot pics.

Hope said...

Two weeks ago I was blissfully ambivalent and hormonally at rest I'll have you know.

Hanging head in shame.

I just got back from Blockbuster where I almost took out a woman over the last Twilight movie.

sigh.

Member Over the Hedge, when RJ and Vern are clinging for dear life to an umbrella recently disintegrated?

I'm stealing Vern's line, June.

"You're the devil."

Stephanie @ Figments said...

Oh my, thank you so much for that. Mmmmm.