The other day I received an email from one of my faithful male readers. He will remain nameless as I fear he will be virtually tarred and feathered by my female readers for what his complaint was.
It seems he thinks it is very unfair that I did an entire post on what a man should do for his wife for Mother's Day a good 2 weeks before Mother's Day, and seeing as it is only one day away from Father's Day, he cannot believe that I have not reminded all the women out there how to love, adore and serve their husband on this great holiday.
The answer... women do not need to be reminded of Father's Day. We have the capability to remember things. We plan. We already knew what we were going to do on this Father's Day LAST Father's Day.
So there.
But, in my weak attempt to make all of my readers happy-even the men folk-I will let all of you wives out there know the secret to making your husband happy on Father's Day.
Two words... Sex. Food.
It is even better if you tell him that you are looking forward to the sex. Tell him while you are feeding him. He won't know what to do. He may not be able to take it if you tell him that it is going to be GREAT sex. You will have to gage that statement on your man. If he has a weak heart I may omit that little notion all together.
But beware... sex can lead to more children and that is how you ended up promising good sex for Father's Day in the first place.
So to recap, tomorrow is Father's Day. Food. Sex. Not necessarily in that order. Enjoy!
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14 comments:
ROFL.
Since I don't yet have children, here is what I do for Father's Day:
1) Buy my father a bottle of Canadian Club and a few Three Musketeers bars. (Got the CC last night at the duty-free, and the candy bars I'll pick up today.) Still need to get a card...but he may not even care about the card, because I bought him some shortbread, too. ;-) )
2) Buy my priest some chocolate. (Also done last night at the duty-free.)
See? Even when sex is completely inappropriate, food is a safe bet! (Well, and liquor...)
You're so right! Men require hints and warnings/planning. Women DO the hinting and warning/planning. And all the men want is sex and food. But if you can throw in a game of golf, a chance to shoot a gun at an animal or a big dead tree, you're golden!
Mmm, you might want to wait until he's done with the feeding. Otherwise, he might forget about the fact he's hungry. Then, you'll have to feed him twice!
So true....lol
Truer words have never been spoken. And feed him after sex, otherwise he won't even chew.
So what advice would you have given me earlier in the week when I was planning for BOTH my husband's birthday (yesterday) AND Father's Day (today)?
Do it at midnight and, since there was an extra occassion, go one step further and put on something 'fancy'.
VERY clever, June.
My husband was thrilled. I hadn't had time to really plan (been busy with all the people who make him a father) so this post was perfect for me. Bar B Que and access to the VIP area twice....golden!
Not only do we (women) remember Father's Day way ahead of schedule. We also remember birthdays, anniversaries, etc. And that includes his side of the family too!
I have read this blog and everytime I come over to check for a new brilliant Cris thought I have to smile at the title of this. I love it! Baby, It's going to be soooo Good! *giggle*
This is really cute. I believe your system works very well...
June or Kris.
I don't know if you'll see this, but I am literally crying from laughing over this post.
I have to start visiting regularly.
I am glad that your move worked out well.
Be well. Sue.
P.S. Your cussing kids triggered a memory and inspired a post today. Thanks. I blog mostly at http://whatactuallyhappens.blogspot.com. Sometime, if I get any, I'll be writing about it at "http://attainingvirtue.blogspot.com.
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