Just One Stomach Virus Short Of My Goal Weight...

A week ago I jumped on the scale and decided that I needed to take drastic measures. I turned to my husband and said "I have to lose 10 lbs. in two weeks and YOU are going to help me! Do not let me eat any bread and any sweets! Promise ME!" Now, you have to know that making a request like this to my husband is much like making a deal with the devil. He will be watching me like a hawk.

He turned to me and said, "OK, but you can't be mean to me when I ask you why you are eating a brownie at 10 o'clock at night with a cookie chaser."

I want to lose these last 10 lbs. because I will then be at a weight that I feel comfortable. Notice I did not say "a weight where I will feel like a Supermodel" No, I would have to eating nothing but laxatives for that to happen.

I was doing pretty good with my prison warden induced diet when Emma got sick on Thursday night. It was not pretty. She had caught a serious stomach bug that was wreacking havoc on her little body. I knew she was not feeling well when she stopped talking constantly. For two nights she slept with me and I cleaned up more poo and vomit than any mother should ever have to clean up.

By Saturday night Mary had the virus, then Hope fell and then I took a nose dive into the liquid fire that involuntarily would shoot out of my body. With no warning! It was awful.

Carl went to dinner with friends Saturday night and came home and walked straight into the bathroom to throw up. My husband sick is about the most pitiful thing in the world. At first he was all "I must be having sympathy throw ups. This is all your fault." and then by 2:00 a.m. as he is lying on the bathroom floor whimpering he would cry out, "WHY! What is happening to my body? What is this disease that I have? Will I survive? I think I am going blind. Oh sweet Jesus... I can see the light!"

He also shakes his feet when he is sick so the entire time I am lying in bed trying not to throw up he is lying next to me shaking his foot which in turn is shaking the entire bed and making me feel like I am sea sick and I start looking for a 2 foot piece of wood plank and a sledge hammer so that I can go "Misery" on him. It is that bad.

Today we are feeling better. We thought Aaron escaped this sickness, but he just asked for a Pepto. He is sick like his Dad... he truly believes he will not survive such an attack on his body. Lord help me.

The only good thing that has come out of this situation is that I jumped on the scale this morinig to find that I have lost 6 lbs. Yes, I am aware that this is because I am severely dehydrated so please do not be a joy kill and leave a comment telling me that I will gain it all back when I start eating again.

Let me enjoy this for the moment....


Alicia Seevers said...

We went through this at Christmas time. The 1.5 year old came down with it first and then my mom and I got it and then the 6 year old. Somehow my husband escaped it and I told him that he should thank whatever God he believes in.
I had it coming out of both ends and I have not been sick like that in too long to remember, actually I don't think I ever had it this bad. I lost 10 lbs and the 6 year old lost 5. My six-year old can not afford to lose any weight. The teacher at school joked that "all the kids who can't afford to lose weight are getting this nasty flu, and the others..."
Hope you feel better soon and actually I hope the sick MEN in the house get better quick, cause sick men are a NIGHTMARE!

AuburnGalAlways said...

I will deny it to my dying breath if anyone ever asks me about it, but since blogs are our confessionals away from church...

I've always been excited to step on the scales AFTER a particularly bad cold or stomach virus.

It's really the only silver lining to those kind of clouds.

Soliloquy said...

Water is the secret. Drink so much that you don't feel hungry.

It wouldn't hurt to run your stairs a few times a day, either.

I'm convinced that had to do the most with my recent 15 lb. weight loss.

CUTE blog!

Stina said...

We are in the midst of recovering ourselves. Luckily, hubby hasn't come down with it, so he has done all of the cleaning.

Prayers for your family.

Lori said...

I was just thinking how much easier that would be than the whole "no brownie with a cookie chaser at 10pm"...not fun, but easier! Think I can catch it from you over the 'net?

Courageous Grace said...

Oh dear, I know how you feel about men being sick! When I'm sick housework still needs to get done, but when he's sick the world is about to end.

Not to mention his strange habit of teleportation vomit....somehow it got on the inside of the closed bathroom cabinet doors when he projectile vomited from the bedroom into the bathroom. Also on the inside of the shower curtain around the corner...to this day I still can't figure it out.

The Whitsitt Family said...

That sounds like a nasty bug! I don't dare tell my husband things like that anymore. He ends up driving me crazy watching my every move. A while back I got something like that and lost 15lbs. I too enjoyed the moment while it lasted, LOL. Now, it is just back to the gym.

Lindsay said...

I'll be the sunshine on your face. When I was in college I had one of those lovely shooting-out-both-ends viruses, lost about 10 pounds, and never really put it back on. Mind you I wasn't able to eat like I used to for months afterwards, but my weight was (unhealthily) managed.

Here's to hoping.

Sandy said...

Fun visiting you - not a fun way to lose at all! Sandy

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about the weight. I went to the doctor the other day and found out I'm not overweight, I'm too short! I should be 11'9".
I also got on the scale and the scale said, "Whoa, one at a time!"
So I decided that from now on I will weigh myself on the Richter scale.
Love your fluffy,
Unto Chut

Beth said...

Start taking those laxatives now and you should be able to keep those 6 pounds off and maybe even get rid of those last four!

Domestic Spaz said...

Blast you! I nearly woke up The Man who is sleeping mere feet from me while laughing at your description of your hubby on the floor of the bathroom. I had to clamp my hand over my mouth and involuntarily do the silent shake until I stopped.

Can't wake him up! He'll want something.

momto5minnies said...

Well that doesn't sound like a fun way to lose weight. Hope your family is on the mend.

I always pray that my husband doesn't get sick. It is easier to take care of the children ;)

Kasia said...

I dunno, Cris - when I saw that pic of you with Carl for the tee shirt party, I thought "What the **** is she complaining about?!? I'd KILL to look like that!"

(Of course, I wouldn't give up my 10 p.m. brownie-cookie binges to look like that, which is probably part of why I don't look like that...stomach viruses are so much easier...)

Anonymous said...

Gross...glad I wasn't there! You know how much I love puking kids!
Love ya

PS you need a Brett Michaels song on your site ;)

Dad29 said...

You'll be happy to know that the stomach-flu stuff tapers off when the children are all in their teens, or older.

Laura said...

If I send you a self addressed stamped envelope will you kindly send some germs my way? I am spending the weekend with my size 2 girlfriends and I need quick fix.