1.31.2007

Motherhood-complete with Talents and Guilt

On Wednesdays, my oldest has piano lessons so we all pile in the van to make the 25 minute drive to the piano teacher's home. During the lesson the younger kids and I stay in the car where E and A watch a movie (oh how I love our DVD player in our minivan. My mother was appalled that I would buy a vehicle with a TV! Obviously she enjoyed all of those family trips where us kids fought and bickered and got car sick from reading and bored from playing the ever-popular license plate game!). I use this time to journal in my Family Journal book by Rita Munn "A Homeschooling Mother's Companion." If you do not have this journal, I highly recommend it--Rita is an incredibly smart woman who not only embraces her life as a homeschooling mother and wife (she was also a military wife) but she offers much needed prayer and advice to other homeschooling moms-like ME!

Anyway, in today's entry Rita talked about our talents and how we as stay-at-home moms feel insecure about what we do... especially when we are surrounded by "career" women. I have to admit that I rarely feel insecure about who I am, but rather I feel I am not doing enough with who I am. Rita suggested that I make a list of all the skills I have acquired in my lifetime-even jotting down the things I would find trivial such as a great recipe I have made. She said I would be amazed at all the talents which Jesus has given me. She then went on to suggest I refer back to this list on the days in which I am feeling inadequate.

OK I thought, this is easy-no problemo. Yeah, right. I started my list and somehow everything on it seemed trivial. The things that were not so trivial, such as "good wife, good mother" made me think... am I really using all of my talents that Jesus has given me to actually be able to say that I am a good wife or mother?

This list thing made me feel lost and uneasy. It made me feel guilty. I thought "Oh Sweet Jesus, am I using all of my talents that you have given me, or do I complain about the things in my life that are demanding of my talents?" Is there more that God wants from me-is there more I can give to my husband, children, family and friends? These are questions that will surely occupy my mind tonight as I lay in bed contemplating this...

Saint Paul surely knew who he was... "I Paul, a servant of God, sent as an apostle of Jesus Christ for the sake of the faith of those whom God has chosen..." ~Titus 1:1 My question remains... Who am I, and how do I fulfill that title through Christ?

2 comments:

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

WOW. My big questions of the day yesterday were limited to, "Do I have enough energy to place a puke path out of towels from Bocker's room to the bathroom...or will I feel good enough to wipe up the puke in the morning, anyway?"...Flu...good times.

Connie said...

Wow, this is exactly what I have been thinking about the last few days, guess that is why I was led to your page. Maybe we should consider opening that tea shop.