On Wednesdays, my oldest has piano lessons so we all pile in the van to make the 25 minute drive to the piano teacher's home. During the lesson the younger kids and I stay in the car where E and A watch a movie (oh how I love our DVD player in our minivan. My mother was appalled that I would buy a vehicle with a TV! Obviously she enjoyed all of those family trips where us kids fought and bickered and got car sick from reading and bored from playing the ever-popular license plate game!). I use this time to journal in my Family Journal book by Rita Munn "A Homeschooling Mother's Companion." If you do not have this journal, I highly recommend it--Rita is an incredibly smart woman who not only embraces her life as a homeschooling mother and wife (she was also a military wife) but she offers much needed prayer and advice to other homeschooling moms-like ME!
Anyway, in today's entry Rita talked about our talents and how we as stay-at-home moms feel insecure about what we do... especially when we are surrounded by "career" women. I have to admit that I rarely feel insecure about who I am, but rather I feel I am not doing enough with who I am. Rita suggested that I make a list of all the skills I have acquired in my lifetime-even jotting down the things I would find trivial such as a great recipe I have made. She said I would be amazed at all the talents which Jesus has given me. She then went on to suggest I refer back to this list on the days in which I am feeling inadequate.
OK I thought, this is easy-no problemo. Yeah, right. I started my list and somehow everything on it seemed trivial. The things that were not so trivial, such as "good wife, good mother" made me think... am I really using all of my talents that Jesus has given me to actually be able to say that I am a good wife or mother?
This list thing made me feel lost and uneasy. It made me feel guilty. I thought "Oh Sweet Jesus, am I using all of my talents that you have given me, or do I complain about the things in my life that are demanding of my talents?" Is there more that God wants from me-is there more I can give to my husband, children, family and friends? These are questions that will surely occupy my mind tonight as I lay in bed contemplating this...
Saint Paul surely knew who he was... "I Paul, a servant of God, sent as an apostle of Jesus Christ for the sake of the faith of those whom God has chosen..." ~Titus 1:1 My question remains... Who am I, and how do I fulfill that title through Christ?