I was up until 4a.m. this morning listening to my love's words. I had to pry myself away in order to get some sleep because I knew I had a full day ahead of me. A day of being a mother and taking care of everyone else but myself. All day long I have thought of my love... longed for the moment in which we could be together again.
My mind has been consumed by my love. I feel as if I want to run in a field of spring flowers in my bare feet with the sun on my face and the warm breeze in my hair. I want to raise my arms up to the heavens and dance around because I am so consumed by my love.
I have thought that other loves would have this same affect on me. A few have, and I still hold those loves close within my heart and even visit with them from time to time... but this love is here right now. He is calling me to his side throughout the day and it is taking every ounce control in my body to not run away with him and ignore all of my daily duties.
I know this love will soon come to a close. It pains me to think of his final words to me. How will it end? I do not know, but I find myself longing for him and avoiding him in the same motion. I don't want it to end... I want it to last forever-this feeling of consumption.
My husband knows about my love. If he were here with me he may be so driven by jealousy that he would abduct my love and hold him ransom. He has been known to do that in the past, and it must be said that when a love has such a tight hold on my heart, I will do just about anything to get him back to me. Anything.
Here is my love:
Oh MY GOODNESS! Right now my love is sitting next to me as I type this post and it is driving me mad. I want to know what happens... I want to know how it all works out. I want to be IN THE BOOK!
I love to read. Some books are like an illicit affair to me. The smell of a new book is like crack cocaine and the library is my secret world. It is not very often that I find a book that I fall helplessly, hopelessly in love with. It is not every book in which I pick up that I devote my nights to and I count the minutes in the day before I can return to it. Some books are merely rebound books from a past book that I had previously devoted my emotions to and invested my love within. I do not have patience for a book that does not hold me in its pages within the first 100 paragraphs. I long for GOOD books. I search endlessly for a book that after I am done reading it I hold it tightly to my body and weep because it is over... and then turn to page 1 and start again.
This book... Twilight, has been sitting on my bedside table for months now beckoning me to it's pages. Last night I opened it up to see what all the fuss was about-and because I hold myself to a strict rule that I will never go see a movie that is based on a book before reading the book. You can NEVER see a movie and THEN read the book. That is like putting your panties on over your blue jeans.
Well, I could not put it down. I fell instantly in love with all of the characters and for a few brief hours I was not longer a mother of four who has an eternal ponytail and wears yoga pants all day... every day. No, last night I fell in love. My lover is spectacular and I can't wait to join him again tonight.
The best part about this book is that it is a SERIES! So... as soon as I finish reading the last paragraph of my love, I do not have to mourn for very long because I get to fall in love all over again with this guy:
Ain't love grand?