The Wednesday Swoon (Think They'll Notice It's Not Monday?) and... there may be a CONTEST at the end of this post. Shhhh.

Okay... sooooooooo

I have looked at all of your calculated contributing ideas of swoonworthy men for the Six-Pack and I have to tell ya-you all are good...no, not good... you all are GUUD!


I am not gonna put a one of those men on this week's Wednesday Swoon.

"Why June?"

Well because... I don't want to.

And also, because I am going to put every last stinking one of them on next week's MONDAY Swoon... not to be confused with the WEDNESDAY Swoon, or even the FRIDAY Mascot (Buzzy) Swoon.

So quit sending suggestions-you have given me too much work as it is... and to be honest, that is why I am not putting them on the Wednesday edition of the Monday Swoon because I am too damn lazy this week.

That is right.

I am LAZY.


BUT, because I love you so very mucho grande Taco Bell, I am not going to leave you empty swoonded.

You can thank me later... right now just listen and look and enjoy.

The other night I went to go see the movie The Hangover.

Oh my loving mother of Betty Crocker! This is hands down the FUNNIEST movie I have EVER seen. I am still giggling to myself when I think about it...

As soon as you are done reading this blog and wiping the drool off your chin for the photogs you are about to view, go directly to your local movie viewing establishment and watch this movie. You will not be sorry--I bet it is even better if you consume a couple of loaded beers first, which is precisely what I am going to do when I go see it a second time. I am going after I am good and drunk and I am going to laugh until I pee my pants and then throw up on the college kid in front of me.


Anyway... in this movie is someone who I have been watching for a while now but have not put on the swoon.

"Why not June?"

I don't know really-I guess it is because he always plays a jerk in movies-but he is a hot jerk so all is forgiven. I mean, you know a man is hot when he can be a jerk and you say "But look at his blue eyes. I bet I can change him. Yeah, he wouldn't be a jerk to ME."


But in this movie-he ain't no jerk and he looks really really really really really really good.

So Ladies of the Six-Pack, I introduce to you for the FIRST time on the Swoon (but definitely not to be the last because I think I may like to look at him just about as much as I like to look at Gerry Butler, Matt McCon, Robward Pattinson and Christian hayBale.) our newest addition to the family... Bradley Cooper.


Hello T-R-O-U-B-L-E. You are going to make all the other fellas on the Swoon list jealous aren't ya Bradley? Oh yes you are.... My Mama never told me about nothing like Y-O-U!

Come on in baby... the water is perfect.

Let's all be silent for a moment here and just look at this man laughing. I mean, you know you are going to have a good time with a guy who can look like that when he laughs-Shhhhh. Just look at him and try not to smile, and try not to think about what he may be laughing at... you won't be able to do it and before you know it, it will be an hour later and you will still be sitting on this blog fantasizing about what he is laughing at and smiling the entire time like a silly little school girl with a dirtly little secret.


I bet he read my blog and thought it was just so damn funny.




Where was I?


Oh yes.... moving on.

He even looks good dirty and beaten up. I am diggin' the Rays-I have a pair like that and a friend told me that I look like a cop when I wear them. Well Mr. Cooper, if you look like a cop... I insist upon a frisking!

Don't you just want to take him home and prop him up on your couch and stare at him? His smile alone could make me happy. Pure and simple.

Okay Six-Packers, this last photog is for you... it needs a caption. Give it to me in the comments-the best caption wins-what do you win? The Hangover Soundtrack!! That is right... IT IS CONTEST TIME!!!!!! I have two... count em' TWO soundtracks to give away-one will go to the winner of the Random number finder thingamajiger and the other will go to the one caption that makes me laugh the most.

I need to laugh people-you have your marching orders... now get to work and entertain me!


Oh yeah... you have until Monday because I am not going to be around for the next couple of days. I am off on an expedition-one to far away lands that have beer and prolly some tequilla, but I am not going to partake in such things. Pfffft. Who am I freakin' kidding?

So since I won't be here for the Friday News... here ya go.

Enjoy and I'll see ya on the flip side of the weekend.


Please... Do Not Point and Stare At Me!

In this kind of mood today... and if you think that means I am happy and fun-loving... you are sorely mistaken.

It means I am crazy.

Yes, crazy.

For reasons that I am not even sure about... but sure that I can't tell you about! Wow... they must be good reasons if I can't tell you-my close and intimate six-packers.


I have no idea who to put on the Monday Swoon-not one single Swoonworthy man in popping into my crazy head and saying "Pick Me! Pick Me Pick Me!"

Nope-that is how crazy my mood is... I am not even having delusional fantasies.

So give me some ideas in the comments Okay-for a good Swoon.

Now if you will excuse me... the traffic is not going to control itself!


Courage And Devotion...

Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force!

You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have
striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The
hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.
In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on
other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war
machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of
Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world.

Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well
equipped and battle hardened. He will fight savagely.

But this is the year 1944! Much has happened since the Nazi triumphs of
1940-41. The United Nations have inflicted upon the Germans great defeats,
in open battle, man-to-man. Our air offensive has seriously reduced their
strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our Home
Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions
of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men.
The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to

I have full confidence in your courage and devotion to duty and skill in
battle. We will accept nothing less than full Victory!

Good luck! And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great
and noble undertaking.

SIGNED: Dwight D. Eisenhower


Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens...Beer in a Bottle and Shots in a Row

Yes, I know it is Friday and yes, I am aware that the masses come to this blog on Friday in order to catch up on all of the important world events (yeah, that is right... suck it YahooNews.). But I am just not feeling it today.

I don't mean to let you down-but sometimes friends do that-they let you down... they throw you under a bus.

I am not throwing you under a bus here... I am just not giving you those boring news clippings.

I am going to give you something much MUCH better.

I am going to let you in on some very funny favorite things of mine.... well, some aren't funny-like Coconut water. That is one of my favorite things-I drink it after yoga and it is so bad that it makes me feel good... but it isn't funny-unless you are talking about how it smells because it does kind of smell funny, but I have found if I just hold my breath and drink it, my body gets all of the benefits and my nose does not cause my throat to have a gag reflex.

But enough about coconut water.

Another nonfunny favorite thing of mine? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with potato chips on top. Yep. I eat one every day. I can't help myself...

Now, on to my favorite funny things:

These peeps are not on my sidebar YET... but I am getting there. I know I am slow-but slow can be good sometimes, just ask the tortoise.

So, as Fraulein Maria said, "These are a few of my favorite things!" Go visit them-laugh a little and have a fabulous Friday!

Gina-so funny that I may have even spit coconut water all over my laptop when I read her.

Powdergirl-or as I lovingly call her Powder "ain't nothing wrong with good lookin mens" girl. My day is not complete before I head on over to see what trouble she is up to!

PhatMama-who sends me into convulsions from laughing so hard-I mean, this mama is so funny that I want to just pack up my bags and follow her around all day laughing. Not only am I a member of the PhatMama fan club... but I am the President!

Maria-We all know and love Maria don't we? Not only is she witty and sharp as a tack, but she is also GORGEOUS! If only I knew a single Catholic nice boy to set her up with... but sadly, I cannot think of anyone who is good enough for this youngster that I have grown to louvre. Robert Pattinson is single... hmmm.

Oh... and even though you all come here on Friday under the guise of obtaining knowledge of the world around you, I know why you really come.

Have a stupendous Friday ladies!


Dance Like An Entire Stadium Is Watching...

Aaron has been trying out for a travel tournament baseball team every night this week. He is having the time of his life and I am having the time of my life watching all of these kids with so much talent come together as a team and support one another.

It is an amazing thing the way boys make friendships. Girls are different-although Hope's softball team is a tight group, there is usually drama somewhere in the mix. Boys don't do drama. They are there to simply play ball and have fun.

We have finally merged into the age of maturity and teamwork that when someone does make a mistake, there is always another team member there backing them up-helping them out-making the play-and patting them on the back. The mistake is not carried off the field with them because their team members supported the player.

I do stay away from the parents though. Please forgive me if you are a parent that sits in the stands and boasts about your kid to everyone. I just can't stand to be around that. Maybe your kid is good-that is great... but the last time I looked, it was your kid out there and not you-please stop living vicariously through them. That is creepy. I also can't stand when parents talk about other people's kids. Who are you to make a comment on a kid who is out there doing the best they can? Yeah-I stay away from parents in bleachers because I could end up in jail for three days if I didn't.

Anyway-since we have baseball on the brain this week, I thought I would share this video that I grabbed up from the lunatics over at threedonia. It is funny-it is kids being kids.

The joy of just being able to live.


I Have Held Out Long Enough... SWOON!

Okay, so I have spared the mens who read this blog for a very long time with any mouth watering pics of our beloved Robert Pattinson... but I can't keep him away any longer.

I cannot help myself-

Here you go ladies... sink your teeth into these. God Bless the Monday Swoon.
And so help me Chuck Norris if any of you fellas complain and say we are sinning I will cut your heart out with a spoon. Why a spoon? Because it will hurt more. (what movie is that from? Anyone?)!
Besides, sinning is good sometimes-it keeps you holy.

Look how he is looking at me! I am sorry Robert-truly I am. I promise to never go so long again without putting you on the swoon.

Can you say hair porn? I can... oh yes I can.

Oh to be the his fingers running through that head of hair. Sigh. Or rather... oh to be a head of hair that his fingers are running through. Yeah, that is it. Shhhhh while I meditate on that for a moment.

Alright, so here are the pics that I am sure you have all seen already of Robert-Edward in Italy. You remember this part in the book... when he calls Bella's house and Jacob answers and says that Bella's dad is at a funeral and Edward assumes that it is Bella who has died so he goes to Italy with a plan to let the Volturi rip him to shreds because he can no longer live in a world that does not have Bella in it.

He needs to remove his shirt because he is going to walk into the sunlight exposing his nocturnalness to the world so that the Volturi have no choice but to kill him.

Because living without Bella has been painful, yet living with the knowledge that she is dead is unbearable for his beatless heart.

And right after this moment... I have another picture, the one where Bella runs into his arms and they kiss and he thinks he is dying because he is kissing her and it isn't so bad-but then he realizes that it is Bella and that she is with him and that SHE IS ALIVE!!!!! But I don't want to post that picture because it has Kirsten Stewart in it and who the hell wants to see that? Not me. Pffft.


So let's just look at another picture of Robert Pattinson's hair shall we? How does he do it? I am amazed.
Shhhh... I am meditating again.

And look, I even have a picture of the wolfpack... the dogs that they are... the werewolves that do not like vampires. Not bad... not bad at all-if you like that sort of thing.

And here is that stinky ol' smelly Jacob who is so arrogant after he becomes a wolf that I could just smack him... not to mention the fact that I could just toss Bella out of a moving vehicle because she is so wishy washy with it all.


Bella irritates the crap out of me. There, I said it. She needs to grow some boobs and be a woman.

Anyway, where was I? Oh... here is another picture of Robert shirtless... in case you didn't catch the ones up top.


Just look at this poster. I hate it... I hate it because it reminds me of the sadness I felt when I read New Moon-which I have to say is probably my favorite of the Twilight Series (yes, I am aware that I am a grown woman-leave me the hell alone). The angst, the pain, the torture... it is all part of life and part of love. The pain makes you remember that you are alive.


Freakin' vampires.


So, without further adieu.... I give you the official trailer for the New Moon movie:

I want more don't you? I want them to just show me that whole damn thing. I don't like to be teased and now we have to wait 5 long months before we can see the entire thing!


What the hell?


So I think we should all just open up our copies of New Moon (oh don't act like you have not thought about it) and reread it.


It'll do us good...the men in our lives will go insane, but that is part of the fun of being in love with a vampire isn't it? (I can't wait to tell Cousin Steve that I am reading it again!)


Oh yes, oh yes indeed.